Starring: Man Fei, Patrick L’Argent, Simon Kwan, Daniel Garfield, Howard Wang
Director: Lo Gio
Synopsis:
Whenever the words ‘a Joseph Lai production’ appear on the screen you can either expect a hilarious experience of the entertaining kind or a total waste of precious time. In the case of AMERICAN COMMANDO NINJA it’s sadly the latter. This flick is pretty much unwatchable and I really had to fight not to use the fast-forward button of the remote control. Where to begin, I wonder? I don’t want to write about movies I hate so let’s make it short. The cast is incredibly poor, the music annoying, the cinematography laughable, the fights clumsy and amateurish, and the direction totally incompetent. Besides the film has a cold, sterile, TV-look (most probably filmed on video) which I have never seen before in a Ninja flick. The characters are uninteresting, the situations stupid, there are no ideas whatsoever, and it really seems that all the people involved in this production have no idea what they are doing. They are all dilettantes if you ask me! To add insult to injury this movie is so incredibly boring that it makes Fred Olen Ray’s BIOHAZARD (1984) look like pure excitement in comparison. I give one entertainment point for this cinematic disaster because you can witness the dumbest torture scene ever committed to celluloid and you can meet the dumbest blonde girl ever on earth. This imbecile specimen of the female sex really thinks that her parents were killed in world war two… only the war is over for about forty years and the blonde idiot is not even thirty years old!!! I’m speechless! At one point a character says “If the worst comes to the worst we… die all together”. If only they would have…English Dubbed